# 58

I have had a very busy month and as you know, it can wear me down. I have been feeling quite tired and trying to catch up on some sleep, not working! I get sore in my hip bones. If you are 40 or older you will understand that without cancer being a factor. Ha! Ha! But cancer is a factor for me so I try to deal with it. It isn't easy. The lymphodema in my right hip can make my hip sore and hard to lay on, then there is the scar tissue as well. So if I lay on my right side it is not for long. Laying on my left side is fine but without a break it gets to feeling achy as well. So....I toss and turn. I don't get too much undisturbed sleep .... ever.

I was trying to get my jeans off the other night and had a hard time bending over because I was swollen from a long weekend. It is just amazing how the little things will bring frustration and sometimes tears. I don't like feeling helpless or having to depend on someone else. But there are times that I just need help. I can do almost everything by myself, but taking off my right boot? Gotta have someone. It definitely keeps me in the frame of mind that I need to depend on God. Sometimes depending on others is a reminder of how to do that. Even in that I see God's hand.

Well, we will be able to get our van back tomorrow but just three days after it was stolen, my daughter hit some black ice and did a 360 into a guard rail with the expedition. I must say we all had the same feelings again. God must have had His hands around her! The guard rail was in front of a 50 ft. drop off. She literally walked in the door and said, "Satan must want me dead!" Well, he can't have her because God obviously wants her alive! It is just wonderful to know that my families lives are in God's hands. When there is nothing I can do, I can trust God and know that my family is truly in His hands.

Soooo, we have started off the new year with stolen vehicles, accidents, job changes, ..... I think God is going to have big things in store for us this year. And you know what? I am looking forward to it! This weeks lesson was on Trusting God. Okay, just so you all know....I trust God. And I can't wait till my doctor tells me I am officially in remission!!