#  91


I had a good doctor visit today.  Not that I learned anything new, but it sure feels good to see my doctor at ease and smiling about all my reports.  We went to get some lunch afterwards and I wasn't really in the mood  for chinese so we decided to drive over to the other side of town which we are rarely on.  I am soooo glad we did!  Just as we were ready to quit looking and turn around .... there it was...a THAI FOOD RESTAURANT!!!  It was a beautiful sight to behold!  We had panang for lunch and it was wonderful :))  God has this wonderful way of bringing little things to our attention just for our enjoyment.

I had wonderful family time last week and enjoyed it so much but I have been struggling with a heaviness of spirit.  I don't know quite how to explain it.  It is a weight of everything that I don't know how to put into words.  I wake up some mornings feeling weepy because it is a struggle to get out of bed.  When I'm in bed it is a struggle to lay down without my hip hurting.  It is a struggle to even roll over.  But it is more...I would really like to touch my toes, I would like to play volleyball, have hair...you get the point.  Then the other side...what if God decides to take me home?  Well I know you can clearly understand why this one weighs on me but not in the way you might think.  I trust God's decisions, but I think often about Ben and the kids and yet I don't feel like I am putting it in the right context.  There are so many things going on with me physically that there isn't a moment of the day that it doesn't effect me.  That with the emotional side make it hard to think clearly some days.  I have been very busy lately and that is good, but this heaviness is just there.  It isn't depression, I am so happy and thankful to be here and I love to have a good laugh...it is deeper than that.  This is too hard to explain.  Maybe I am just tired.... LOL!  I'm always tired. :))

I was reading Streams in the Desert on July 7th and was humbled by God's amazing grace. I want to share it with you.  The small problem is that the 8th and 9th  go along with it so I am going to share all three.  :))

July 7th
He made me into a polished arrow. (Isaiah 49:2)

Pebble Beach, on the California coast, has become quite famous for the beautiful pebbles found there.  The raging white surf continually roars, thundering and pounding against the rocks on the shore.  These stones are trapped in the arms of the merciless waves.  They are tossed, rolled, rubbed together, and ground against the sharp edges of the cliffs.  Both day and night, this process of grinding continues relentlessly.  And what is the result?

Tourists from around the world flock there to collect the beautiful round stones.  They display them in cabinets and use them to decorate their homes.  Yet a little farther up the coast, just around the point of the cliff, is a quiet cove.  Protected from the face of the ocean, sheltered from the storms, and always in the sun, the sands are covered with an abundance of pebbles never sought by the travelers.

 So why have these stones been left untouched through all the years?  Simply because they have escaped all the turmoil and the grinding of the waves.  The quietness and peace have left them as they have always been--rough, unpolished and devoid of beauty--for polish is the result of difficulties.


Since God knows what niche we are to fill, let us trust Him to shape us to it.  And since He knows what work we are to do, let us trust Him to grind us so we will be properly prepared.



July 8th

They will soar on wings like eagles. (Isaiah 40:31)

There is a fable about the way birds first got their wings.  The story goes that initially they were made without them.  Then God made the wings, set them down before the wingless birds, and said to them, "Take up these burdens and carry them."

The birds had sweet voices for singing, and lovely feathers that glistened in the sunshine, but they could not soar in the air.  When asked to pick up the burdens that lay at their feet, they hesitated at first.  Yet soon they obeyed, picked up their wings with their beaks, and set them on their shoulders to carry them.

For a short time the load seemed heavy and difficult to bear, but soon, as they continued to carry the burden and to fold the wings over their hearts, the wings grew attached to their little bodies.  They quickly discovered how to use them and were lifted by the wings high into the air.  The weights had become wings.


This is a parable for us.  We are the wingless birds, and our duties and tasks are the wings God uses to lift us up and carry us heavenward.  We look at our burdens and heavy loads, and try to run from them, but if we will carry them and tie them to our hearts, they will become wings.  And on them we can then rise and soar toward God.

There is no burden so heavy that when lifted cheerfully with love in our hearts will not become a blessing to us.  God intends for our tasks to be our helpers; to refuse to bend our shoulders to carry a load is to miss a new opportunity for growth.  J. R. Miller


No matter how overwhelming, any burden God has lovingly placed with His own hands on our shoulders is a blessing.  Frederick William Faber






July 9th

I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.  (Isaiah 48:10)

Doesn't God's Word come to us like a soft rain shower, dispelling the fury of the flames?  Isn't it like fireproof armor, against which the heat is powerless?  Then let afflictions come, for God has chosen me.  Poverty, you may walk through my door, but God is already in my house, and He has chosen me.  Sickness, you may intrude into my life, but I have a cure standing ready--God has chosen me.  Whatever occurs in the valley of tears, I know He has chosen me.

Dear Christian, do not be afraid, for Jesus is with you.  Through all your fiery trials, His presence is both your comfort and safety.  He will never forsake those He has chosen for His own.  "Do not be afraid, for I am with you." (Gen. 26:24) is His unfailing word of promise to His chosen ones who are experiencing "the furnace of affliction."  Charles H. Spurgeon






I read these three and it was like the Holy Spirit poured across my heart and soul...I must go through what He lays upon me, but not alone, He has chosen me and I am His!  The furnace is where I stand with Jesus by my side.  I love you, my Father, my Savior, my King.