# 54

Well some days it just gets tiring. I have to get up every morning and do my exercises on my exercise ball to keep my lymphodema under control so no way to get ready in a hurry. Then hot compresses for the eyes to keep my tearing under control. Oh, and I need to take my vitamins before I leave as well so a little breakfast is a must or it will upset my stomach. So if I desire to go anywhere I have at least a two hour routine to finish before walking out that door. Whew, I get worn out just thinking about it!!

I went to see the eye doctor this morning and got up a little late so I didn't do my ball exercises...ugh!! So as soon as I get home, on the ball I go. But this doesn't compare with evenings...lol!! I do the hot compresses at night as well to help with the tearing...but I have to use my Flexitouch, which is what the air machine is called that I wrap up in to help control the swelling in my leg. I do my ball exercises then wrap up and do the compressions for an hour every night before sleep. So if I get downstairs a little late? Yup. I am up till crazy hours trying to get everything done!

BUT, let's keep it all in perspective. If I had died this summer I wouldn't be here at all and that is where I was. Making funeral arrangements....but now I am doing little things to keep me going. And that is the point. I am still here doing those little things to keep me going. I get to be with my family every day! This Christmas is going to be awesome! We did some different things this year for the kids but they are personal and I get to share it with them. Can I possibly ask for anything better than that?!

On top of all this we had some roller coaster moments. Funny how things can look so different after you have gone through a life and death experience. I trust God. I have learned that He really does know what He is doing and I'm okay with not knowing. I'm not sure I could have said that before. It is nice to know what is going on, but it is so much better to know that someone who knows me and my family so well and knows what is best for us is planning our steps.

Thanks Father for taking care of us. We need you. I need you.....every moment of every day.