# 81

I'm so thankful that I feel as good as I do. But there are still moments when the emotions of where I struggle physically get me down. I was a big hiker and we would go every Friday and sometimes multiple times through the week. I miss being able to just get out and go. My son went on an all day hike with his girlfriend and I didn't realize how it would effect me. They came in late, (the van broke down) and they smelled of fresh air and were sun burnt. All those memories of hiking in MO and hiking in Dickson....it just made me cry. I didn't mean too, but it just all came out. Then I felt horrible because my husband has to pick up my emotional pieces. I would love to be able to move like I used to and not have to deal with this scar tissue and lymphodema, but I do. And most importantly, which is what I said through my tears, I am still here. That is truly the most important thing. I'm still here. God let's me enjoy today, so I am enjoying today and it has been a really good day! Ben made breakfast and invited friends over to share and we had just a wonderful morning sharing and laughing and eating and even running some errands. The windows and doors are open and it feels about 65-70 degrees outside. It has just been a wonderful day! And God let me enjoy it, today. I love how He takes care of me and doesn't just provide needs but wants as well. It is overwhelming how He loves us and we take advantage soooo often. God forgive us for our arrogance in not appreciating that He is the one who gives us every moment of every day.

I was at church a couple of weeks ago and feeling particularly unworthy when after church a dear friend came up and shared something that stopped me in my tracks. People are praying for me. No revelation there...then he said, "people are praying that might never pray for anything else." Then it hit me! He said, "Robin, they are talking to God everyday, because of you." I burst into tears. I just want to please Him and then He reminds me that He is using me how He wants and I need to stay willing. Ok...I'm willing. My road isn't easy, but He is with me and I don't have to do it alone. Thank-you, Father!!