# 72

I have had such a good past couple of days that I just wanted to share. Being off radiation is like instant relief!! The first day or so I was tired and of course going down to one steroid let my body feel the tiredness so there was a lot of sleeping. And I must say I was happy to accommodate that wonderful feeling! One of the days I crashed on the couch to watch a movie with the family and four hours later (2 movies and starting a 3rd so I could keep sleeping) I woke up and looked around. They all were in bed with Ben on the other couch waiting for me to wake up. They are just too good to me! It was a wonderful deep sleep, I don't think I even moved :) Of course the swelling is slowly starting to go down. I can see the indentations in my cheeks again...lol! The only de-swelling that makes me sad...and just a little...are my fingers. I'm thankful that they are going back to normal I just wish I would have caught it in time. But that means I will be able to wear my spare gold band and my family ring (which has a ton of sentimental value for me as well) while I figure out who can fix my rings. It is a process isn't it?

Anyway, I have been able to have my mornings and energy back and it has been wonderful! And with the weather being so beautiful I have just soaked it in! I open the back door and the living room windows and listen to my windchimes and look at the mountains....can it get any better? Oh yes it can! I took my youngest to DMV and got his permit...so now I can have my driver until they will give me the "ok" to drive. God just works things out like that!

Well, we didn't get the chance to go see Courageous at the theaters so last night we watched it as a family. I must say that it was just such an awesome movie and really made you think about being a dad and what that means. But for me...I'm a daughter and mother so I was thinking about how my dad impacted me. I couldn't stop thinking about it all night. I am amazed at when I think about the environment that my dad grew up in and how he didn't want to be like his father with his kids. His dad was a very abusive alcoholic and all he knew was that he wanted to be there for his kids and invest in their lives where his dad had not. I'm thankful for my father that grandpa got saved before he died and dad was able to develop a relationship with him before he was gone. But how dad gave of himself for us to be what he didn't have just really hit me last night. I know that dad was far from perfect but I am so thankful for the sacrifices he made for us. We always lived paycheck to paycheck and dad had to work sometimes multiple jobs until he finally got on at Westreco (a research lab for Nestle) but every night was time with his family no matter how tired he was. My dad's love language was quality time. Gosh, am I thankful for that!! I now share that love language with my children because of him.

There are sooo many good memories of the crazy things dad would do to spend time with us....like when mom would go to the bedroom for the night, dad would call us all into the living room and tell us we were going to play hide and seek in the dark. We lived in the country so no security lights anywhere like today. All the lights would go off, he would put on this album of scary sounds( who knows where he got it!) and we would count while he hid and we would spend sometimes a couple of hours playing in the dark while each of us crawled around on our hands and knees looking for each other. The album playing hiding our sounds....it was just soooo much fun! The best hiding place dad found was on the barstools in the kitchen. We looked forever that night! You could hear him laughing...I loved it when he laughed so hard he wheezed. Then there were the games he would make up. And there were quite a few...the dictionary game, the story game, ....Yeah, I'm just really thankful that God gave me a father that wanted to be what his father was not. Even as I look back I realize that grandma was key in that. Her personality is truly my father's and her investment in her children was incredible! She was an incredible, godly christian woman that impressed upon her son an anchor in Christ.

One of the things that made such a huge impact on me were Saturday mornings with my dad. Everyone wanted to sleep in...except dad. He wanted to go have breakfast at the Amish restaurant and wanted some company. Well, everyone in the house wanted to take time to "get ready" so he would ask me to go with him so we could just get up and go. I remember the first time saying I needed to shower and he told me not to care about what others thought and just go. Then over breakfast he instructed me on the importance of how you let others dictate how you do what you do and why. I have never forgotten and it truly changed me. I gave my children the instruction of my father and am so thankful to see it passed down.

I found myself wanting to spend time with him, if he was in the garage working on the car I was there just listening to him explain what he was doing. Sometimes he would ask me to read to him while working. I remember reading Edgar Allen Poe while he was fixing the timing belt on the Gremlin. One night he couldn't figure out how to change one of the brake shoes because he didn't have the right tool. He stopped and prayed and within 5 min. God had showed him how to do what he needed to do and he stopped and thanked Him for it. I learned so much from my father. When I was in highschool my guidance counselor told me I could be a mechanic! I laughed out loud! No, I just listened while dad was working.

In a nutshell, my father was such a key to the anchor that I found in Christ I just had to share it. He is the reason I found Christ and the reason I wanted to teach others about Him. Thank-you Father for allowing Curtis Eugene Sagraves to be my father.