# 76

I'm sitting here on my couch looking out my open window listening to the birds while I write in my prayer journal wondering once again....why me? It hits me sometimes like a Mack truck! My kids are all out of the house, two working and one in school and my husband is golfing with his dad. I had a really good Bible study and started writing to my Father in my journal when I just felt overwhelmed with gratitude. I'm here. I'm really here and living and feeling better each day as I open my windows and let God's creation waft over me. It has been the most beautiful weather these last two weeks and it is like healing waters on my soul! He has let me have another day with Him and my family! How gracious is our God?!

As I came home last night from Wednesday night Bible Study I was sitting on our couch going over my calender of upcoming events for the teens and our family. I was overwhelmed again at everything that is coming up that I could not control but I am in charge of making happen and coordinating. It was making me cry because it was like God was saying, "yes, these are the plans I have for you.... and you'll be here to do it and I'll be with you." I can't help but fall on my face before Him and praise His name!! Who am I? Who is anyone? As I write my prayers down this morning I find myself feeling very unworthy. I'm no one special, then He gently reminds me ...yes I am. In His eyes I am so special! Here come the tears again.... We all are JUST THAT SPECIAL in His eyes!! Why is it so hard to believe? I guess we would live so differently if we had that kind of confidence and security all the time. We would just be so bold and strong but the devil will do whatever he can to make us feel worthless. I was struggling with that this morning and wondered what brought on those old memories and the overwhelming feelings of past guilt and shame. The devil loves to bring up forgiven sins and try to get us to dwell on them, but guess what, Satan? The have been tossed into the sea of forgetfulness!! HA!! I am forgiven and precious in the eyes of my Father, the Lover of My Soul!!!! (happy tears now!!)

Now that I have shared a little of my soul pondering' s this morning, I want to share a little good news physically. I have been hesitant to share with everyone about a natural tea that my father-in-law discovered right before I found out the cancer had gone to my brain because I didn't want to promote something without knowing it it would really help or not. It is an herbal tea that an Indian tribe in Canada have been using for hundreds of years and their people have never developed cancer. A nurse in Canada came across this phenomenon and did some research and discovered that it truly would cure cancer. Long and short of it, the Canadian govt wouldn't let it out so she made it herself and kept herself in the poor house giving it away. She sent it to Boston where they tested it on AIDS patients and of the 127 patients they had at the time they only let the doctor use it on five. The five lived and the 122 others died. Needless to say the US wouldn't let it out either even with documented proof, it couldn't be patented, it is just 4 herbs you can get in your back yard. The tea is named after the nurse who discovered it from the tribe of Indians and her name is Rene Caisse. Some places call it Essiac Tea, which is Rene's name spelled backward. You can look it up and read all the facts about it and it is sad to see how much the govt tries to hide things like this. I bought a bottle from Earth Fare and started drinking it the day I started radiation. You only need to drink 2tbls a day. If you are fighting cancer you can up the dose so I drink 6 tbls a day. Two in the morning, two in the afternoon and two at night. I immediately ordered the packets and brew it myself now, since that is the much cheaper way to order it. I order it from Natural Heritage Enterprises. But this is what I want to share...

A lady at church drank 3 tbls a day and within 2 wks her carpal tunnel in her foot was gone. She had struggled for years and was even using my magnets to relieve her pain and 2 wks later it was gone. Another lady struggled with arthritis in her left foot so bad she had been wearing an ankle brace for the past twelve years. She called me into her SS room just beaming and told me she took off her brace and went hiking with her husband for the first time in years! They are both in their 50's and they just drink a tablespoon a day.

So on to me...when I started drinking I had just gone from no steroids to four a day and radiation. But immediately I noticed my bowels started functionally normally, I had energy, I was sleeping better and the pain in my hip, the radiated one that makes it hard to sleep, was gone. Well, then the steroids kicked in and everything swelled and the scar tissue in that hip was becoming unbearable! But now that the radiation is done and the steroids are down to one a day? My scar tissue is not just getting soft again, but the swelling in my leg is going down. This is hugely significant!! My lymphodema swelling hasn't gone down any in all my physical therapy! I've just been maintaining it and keeping in from swelling down my leg!! I marvel every night as I do my exercises and look at my leg...it is looking a lot like my other leg...lol! maybe I'll be able to toss those compression stockings out the window soon! Oh, my eyes have stopped tearing so I can actually wear makeup again! And that hip is feeling more agility and movement everyday! I am so anxious for my next scans to see what is really going on with my cancer that I can't hardly wait!! For whatever reason God introduced this tea to me in His time, so if He decides to use it to cure this cancer I will praise Him for it, if He uses the chemo and radiation? I will praise Him for it, if He uses nothing but Himself I will praise Him, if He takes me home...I will praise HIM! Our God is worthy of Praise!