# 75

I had something very unusual happen this weekend. I was lying on the couch still lifeless with my sinus infection and I felt a sharp pain in my left shoulder. It was right there at my port site so I felt my port and it wasn't my port but above and behind it. I was trying to understand what I was feeling because it wasn't like a muscle pain if felt like a hot string under my skin. I rubbed it and it went away but it was strong enough that it woke me up. I told Ben about it and we both didn't know what to think except to just mention it at my next appointment. So we went to bed and thought nothing more about it till I got out of the shower the next morning. I apologize for the sensitive nature of what I am about to say, but everyone understands what I have been through and what surgeries I've had and why. I noticed in the shower that my left breast implant was misshapen. Then I realized the pain I must have felt was something releasing or breaking loose. Great, just what I need! I just laughed hard then started coughing!!

I went to do treatments today and was going to see my Doc because of my sinus infection so he did an exam as well and we all just looked at the misshapen implant ......"Where did you have this done?"

Nashville...

Oh, great....

Yeah, that is so how we were feeling, Nashville?! If I have to have something reattached it is still a surgery and still a trip to Nashville. Ugh! So He scheduled an ultrasound to make sure it isn't leaking and then when I find out I'm giving my doc in Nashville a call to see what I need to do. You have to laugh or cry! I'm laughing!! My list of physical defects is growing! I'm so thankful that being a woman doesn't have anything to do with the shell i'm living in!

I have a Father that loves me and thinks i'm BEAUTIFUL! Bald, almost no toenails left, chubby, misshapen and fake breasts, no ovaries, half fingernails, misshapen right leg and thigh, no eyebrows, .....it seems like the list keeps going and it doesn't matter. He thinks i'm beautiful! He sees me...just me from the inside where all the outside just doesn't matter.......that makes me smile. I love how He loves me and lets me know that He loves me.

So I'll let everyone know how this is going to turn out. If my implant is leaking or if it has broken loose somehow and what i'm going to have to do. But what ever happens it will be fine and we'll get it taken of. In the scheme of things this is very minor. Thank goodness!! I like small with all the "big" we've had lately!! whew!!