So three days after finding out that the cancer has gone to my brain and it feels a little like I am dreaming. I go to bed and sleep well, then wake up and the reality comes flooding back...I have cancer in my brain. Here is the crazy thing...I have no symptoms so I feel fine. It is hard to wrap my mind around something you can't feel or see. That is where I know prayers have come in to play. I feel a peace that I don't know how to explain. I don't feel afraid ...I just feel like I am sitting in much bigger hands that won't let me down.
As I go from day to day and go about my daily routine, it gives my family hope and a feeling of normalcy. And yet I know it is more...I have a Father that loves me and takes care of me and my family. It is comforting to know that He knows what tomorrow holds... whether I stay or go. I find tremendous comfort in knowing that God can take care of my family much better than I can. I'm glad it is not up to me to take care of them. I'm not enough on my own...
So I look at my family and friends and I feel so much love and a peace that I can't put into words. I don't know what my future holds but I know the one who holds my hand. So I am holding on... in life or death. And death is life...and if I go home? Then I WILL see my family again. Praise God!! And if He let's me stay? I will thank Him and shout his praises until I do get to go home.
The one thing that I will do until my last breath is let people know how awesome our God is...no matter what happens to me...He is worthy of Praise!!
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