# 67

Here we go.....the hair is falling out and I was soooo hoping that I might be able to skip that! But as you all have heard me say before, I'd rather be here with no hair than not here at all. It has been crazy to go through the effects of these steroids! I gained five pounds in a week and am still gaining. It looks like my face is going to pop with the swelling and there isn't a thing I can do about it. The only thing that is really bothering me is that I wasn't paying attention to my wedding rings. My fingers have swollen out of control and now it has become painful and it looks like I will have to cut them off. I am trying not to feel weepy about it, but some things you just can't control. Just a lot of sentimental value, but I know it is just a symbol. My wedding ring is my ring and Ben's first wedding band melded together. It just seems so appropriate. Okay, I need to not dwell on it and focus on the fact that I am here. The ring is fixable and I will just focus on getting better. Actually I told Ben I will just wear my dad's wedding ring until we can get mine fixed. Let's keep this on the positive.

The swelling is making everything very uncomfortable. My hands and face are minor compared to my hip area where the last radiation occurred. It has made the fibrous tissue as hard as a brick...to the point that it makes it hard to walk!! How does that even happen? I have no clue but it has definitely slowed my movements. It is really not painful just difficult. That is hard to explain. I am just very anxiously waiting for them to ween me off the steroids so I can deflate! LOL!!

I am thankful for the friends and family who have been so supportive. I can see a definite difference in how people approach what I am going through. I have those that have a deep trust in God and see and know that He is in control then there are those that need reassuring. I am trying my best to convey what God is given me...a peace that passes all understanding. I am still amazed at how He has opened doors for me to do things this year, which just screams to me that He as plans for me on this earth. I like that, but even if He calls me home...I'm ready. What a win/win for me. I just want everyone else to see that win/win as well. God really does know what He is doing. And my goodness, who are we to question any decision that He makes? I just love Him and I'm thankful for today!