Blog #24

I am getting into a routine but it doesn't make it any easier. I get up everyday at 6am to start my day. It takes two hours to do everything I need to do before I leave at 8am for my dives. It is starting to make me very tired. I am painfully aware when I am up past 9pm. LOL!! That is so funny and for those that know me, that is just not me!! I am sooooo a night owl! I would much rather be up late than get up early!! But it is what it is..... I seem to be saying that a lot lately. I guess it is true. My naturalists seem to feel that I will see some substantial improvements since my ovaries have been taken out. I believe them. I am amazed at how I feel and how well I can move my neck since I have left the hospital and been able to start back on my treatments.

I still have pain in my neck but it is different than before and it changes. I am assuming that it is because of how the tumor is dissolving and how it effects the bone and nerves. Some days I am just doing too much and am tired but other days it just feels weird. I have lost faith in my oncologist and I am starting to feel like he doesn't have my best interests at heart. Of course I can't know for sure, but some things that have happened have really caused me to wonder. I go back to see him next week and he is still pushing chemo pills. Even though he said there is no guarantee that it will help but it can do damage. I just don't want chemo, and he just won't listen. I am afraid I am going to have to get firm, i'm not looking forward to it. Time to pray some more.

My brother's wife had their baby girl this week and I am so thankful that I was here to see her. I am not ready to die and I am thankful that the Lord has shown me a way to take care of myself so I can be here to see my niece grow up!

Ok, laugh with me on this! I went to Whole Foods today on my free time between dives and while I was checking out with my lunch I ran and picked up a bottle of some gum that I can chew. It is totally vegan and natural so I was excited to find it. No artificial anything! Well I start to walk away after paying and realized that my and my kids lunch was expensive....so I looked at the receipt. Well guess how much my gum was!?........... $11.99!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost fell over!! My daughter and son almost fell over laughing! I almost passed out in shock!! That's it...I said! You guys can't share my gum, it is toooo darn expensive!! Can you believe it? I couldn't either!!

Until next time.....I'm chewing my gum!!

Blog #23

I am just amazed at how God is slowly healing me. And I truly believe that is what is going on! I am able to get up now without holding my head with my hand, I can lay on either side now, I can look straight up and straight down, and pretty far left to right. I am just amazed and overwhelmed! I slowly am getting better every day and I can see it happening. How incredible is that? And now my energy is growing and so is my strength....God is sooo good!!

I have been able to fully get back into my routine and now I am doing two dives a day. It has been hard on my schedule but it has been worth it. I think I will be able to drive myself soon and that would be so awesome! We just keep seeing things that God is doing and it is leaving me speechless. My sister is inviting my naturalists down to have a seminar at her church and then a Sunday morning service. They are so excited! I don't blame them! I am hoping that the Lord will make it possible for me to go down with them, that would be so awesome to see my sister's home and church and meet everyone who has been praying for me. And her church is so excited to have them come down! How cool!! I am meeting a couple from their church on Monday. The wife has cancer and is starting treatments. It is exciting!! God is good, all the time!!

Blog #22

I have been really emotionally tired for the last month and a half. It has been hard to be in the hospital eating what I don't need to eat and drinking what I know is bad for me. Even the pain meds were hard to take because I know how they affect my body. Then just when I start to feel better I get a sinus infection. (which means no dives till it's done) Then I get my ovaries out and have a body full of gas that can't go in a chamber till it is out of my body and not causing me pain. So this week I am finally back to my full regime. It feels like my muscles have atrophied down to jello and I am stupidly weak!! Try not to get discouraged? Well, on top of that I feel like I am keeping my children from living their lives and I don't want them to grow bitter with me or resentful. My husband has the church on his shoulders, his family and me.....he tries not to let me see his stress, but I know him.....and I try not to let him see my stress, but he knows me! Vicious circles! And I know the devil is trying to fan the flames as much as possible!

My middle son got a job, my youngest is in high school, and my daughter is my personal driver and assistant. I don't know what I would do without any of them, they all help in one way or another. I know my Father is with me, I can feel His presence and I know every tear I cry He knows and holds in His hands. I find that I need Him more everyday and I know He wants to go through this with me, and for me not to carry it alone. How do I thank Him? I hope I can live in a way that honors Him, but even if He calls me home, I will still love Him!!

I read "The Shack" last Tuesday. My brother called and asked me to read it. I know I am behind the times....that seems to be how I do things. I don't really follow the crowd, ever....so I am behind in reading this book. But, I truly loved it!! I have never read a book that shows the love of God so thoroughly!!!! Maybe others will read it and draw closer to Him and figure out that He loves them too. I hope so!

So now I am back in my full routine of vitamins, herbs, enzymes, veggie juicing, hyperbaric dives, and coffee enemas. I am tired but getting stronger. We seem to get what we need when we need it and no sooner. But God always provides!! He is sooo good to me! I just pray for strength, and plenty of it!! It is His strength that I need because mine is truly not good enough!! And I truly hope people are praying for my husband! He truly carries more than he should.

Blog # 20

I had such a good visit with my sisters when they brought my mom up to see me. And I truly believe God brought us together for a reason. They went with me to do my treatments and we had such a good time and truly they scales fell from their eyes on what we put into our bodies and how it affects us. It was wonderful to just let my naturalist doctors talk and hear all that they know and how God has worked out their ministries and healed so many people. It lit a fire under my sisters and they went home and want to change and let others know they need to change as well. It's kind of funny to watch it affect others they way it affected me. I understand and it makes me excited all over again.

But on my end, I am getting ready for surgery tomorrow and I am having to drink a gallon of Golytely and it is truly not of God!! That is the most horrible stuff and I feel for anyone that has had to endure that!! But I will truly be empty by tomorrow!! Ugh!!

I am trying not to get irritated with some of the things that has happened with my doctor, but it is difficult. I went in today and he was out of town. And his replacement asked why i was there and I said I didn't know, I already knew what the bone scan said, and my surgery isn't till tomorrow. And he said, you haven't even had surgery yet, and I said, no. He said, I'm sorry for making you wait, you don't need to be here. I will tell the receptionist not to charge you and we'll schedule you for about 6weeks from now. I'm so sorry.

How irritating!! I wasted two hours for nothing! It was very frustrating! To say the least. But what do you do? I am at there mercy..... not any more!! I am so thankful that I am going to be starting some different treatments after I have my surgery. And I totally believe that when I go back in six weeks I will be cancer Free!!!!!

Blog # 19

I am totally blown away at how God takes care of details! I shouldn't be!! He truly is a Master of details it is just hard to imagine that He does all this for me. And I guess if there is anything that I could share that truly should be shared is that He will do the same for you as well!!

When I arrived at the hospital they couldn't tell exactly what the tumor was doing. If it was in the bone, beside it, eating through it, or what. So for the first two days we heard so much good news and bad news it was hard to hold on emotionally. We did cry a lot because it would go from "we'll be able to take care of this" to "you may not make it through this". When they finally got through a 3hr long MRI and could tell exactly what was going on in there we found out that I wasn't going to need re-constructive surgery and that radiation would be all that was required. But, it just happened to require very precise radiation and they just happened to have the machine that I needed there at ST. Thomas. (There were only two in Nashville...the other was at Vandy) Then they shared that the tumor wasn't growing into the spinal column but around it (which is unheard of because tumors want to grow into the blood flow not away or around it) and it wasn't restricting any blood vessels. Also incredible!!! Because it was growing around the vertebrae there was no structural damage to the bone and that was there biggest concern because reconstruction of the C1-C2 vertebrae is so risky they want to do anything else they can before they try that.

Well when they were ordering my MRI, my oncologist on call came running back into the room to share that the neurosurgeon specialist for the area was on my floor and she had just ran into him and he said he would look at my films when they came out. She was so excited that he was there because he was the best in the area!! How awesome of God to have him waiting outside my door!!

So, I now know that I can radiate this horrible thing and I don't have to have reconstruction. They took me down to radiation and explained that it would require only one very concentrated dose of radiation and it would slowly break down the tumor over a period of two months. How incredible is that? They also learned through all the other scans that none of the other spots have grown and if we took care of this one tumor it would eliminate the immediate threat to my life. Again, wow!! God is Sooooooooooo AWESOME!!

The only downside to my visit was that several doctors asked me why I hadn't done anything yet with my ovaries. Apparently I really need them removed and all the estrogen they are producing even with the hormone inhibitors I am taking. That alarmed me a little. I asked as soon as a started again about that and I didn't get any concern showed at all. But as soon as I get into the hospital every doctor I saw said it would stop the growth immediately if I had them removed!! Needless to say I am scheduled to have them removed on the 3rd of September.

I am being very calm relating these events to you all now, but it was not the case as it happened. It is so good to be home and doing what I can to fight this cancer the way that I know will work! Every one of the doctors recommended Chemo and every one of them said there was no guarantee it would help, but it would eventually kill me. Then what is the point? They all said that taking my ovaries out would stop the growth immediately, yay! So let's just start with that and let me get back to my oxygen treatments and all natural remedies. I know they work! I have seen it work!! And you know what? I totally believe that it is what has kept all the rest of my spots at bay. And I truly believe that the tumor at the base of my skull grew because of the estrogen in my body. How like the Father to take care of that for me and let me know what I needed to do to stop the growth so I can kill the rest of this horrible stuff in my body!!

Yeah, it is really good to be home! :)

Blog # 18

It has been hard to sit at the computer and type so it has taken me a while to be able to blog. But, I am feeling so good today, and I'm sure I will be feeling this good and better from now on, that blogging can be back in my routine once again. It's nice to be able to let everyone know what's been going on and how to pray.

I gave a brief description of what happened and how I ended up in the hospital. So I just wanted to let you know what's happened since then. The hospital stay was long and very difficult. I hurt beyond description when I would sit up or stand so they kept me on strong pain meds during the first half of the week. Every test and scan I would have to slide from bed to bed and using the bathroom was extremely painful. But after the radiation it slowly started to reduce the pain. After two days I could walk to the bathroom and sit in the shower! I can't tell you how wonderful that was!! By the time I hit one week of being in the hospital (2 1/2 days after radiation) I could roll over on my side without crying! I was crying from sheer joy at that point and thanking God for His incredible provision!! By Monday I knew I was going home and I couldn't stop smiling or thanking God. It felt like I was released from prison!

Being at home was a little harder than expected. I had a hard time getting in and out of bed and the pain meds kept me pretty loopy and nauseous. So a week of readjusting and I was starting to get back into a routine of healthy food and vitamins and herbs. Literally my body started to detox again. It wasn't pleasant. But after two hyperbaric dives I feel soooo much better, I can't wait to see what I am going to feel like on Friday!!

I am going to sign off and fill you in more later. I just wanted to fill in some gaps. On my next blog we will discuss what's going on inside of me. :)

Blog : # 17

My trip to the emergency room. I just wanted to give an account of what happened to me this past week. My brother and family came to visit this past week and we were having so much fun!! With games, late nights and then a trip to the creek. We had a blast as you can see from the pics my brother and niece put on facebook. But, by the time I got home I was in some serious pain. I was assuming that I just dislocated a vertebrae or pulled a muscle. So I was icing and heating and taking pain pills, but to now avail. By the time my brother left Friday morning I was bed ridden. I was hoping there would be some improvement by Saturday, but there wasn't so I called the hospital and told them I was headed in. I got up to take a shower and the pain was more than I could handle. I felt the fading coming over and screamed for Patsy. She came running in and was able to catch me as my knees buckled under me. She called my husband and he was there within six minutes.

Weird things happen when you have something like that happen. I had Patsy cover me with towels and had her call the boys in so I could tell them that I loved them. It was right scary to not know exactly what was going on and it dealing with my neck scared the phooey out of me.

Needless to say, Ben got home and helped me get dressed and to the van and off to the hospital we went. It was very painful but the drugged me up when I got there and soon transferred me to Saint Thomas. From there it was test after test after test. One MRI was three hours long!! Talk about pain! But the end results were worth it.

My tumor isn't restricting the blood vessels, it hasn't degraded the vertebrae and they will be able to radiate it and give me relief so I can go home. As soon as I get out of the hospital I will be doing a full detox and going in overdrive with oxygen therapy. I can't wait to get back on shcedule!!

I will try to update again as soon as possible!!